![]() I'm asking him to not lie, but he says sometimes he's just too afraid of my reaction, and part of me feels like that's making me too afraid and I can't accept it, while other part of me tells me that he's accepting my absolutely awful behavior towards him sometimes and that's his reaction to that, and as much as I'm trying and failing to do better sometimes, so does he. My boyfriend doesn't want to leave me but he's often afraid of telling me the truth about most mundane things, which on the outside, is understandable. How do you deal with lies in relationship anons? My case is a little specific because, especially for something along the lines of last year, I've been very unstable, trying different meds, reacting bad to all of them, underlying mental issues, all that. i just dont really know what advice to give her when she seeks it. anyways, she slipped up the other day over facetime and said "love you" like out of habit before they hung up and said goodnight and he said "oh ok, bye" awkwardly, he apologized over text in the morning and she pretended it didn't happen and now im here on lolcow. so she wants him to be the first to do something for once. she approached him at the bar they met, she suggested they started dating, etc. but she refuses bc she doenst want to be the first, she says she's always the first with him. she gets really upset about it and weve had a couple conversations about it where ive told her that i think she should just be true to her feelings and say what she feels, she tells me she loves him so she should say that. ![]() she's upset because he hasn't said it yet, and she's been hinting at it really hard in her opinion, but the only specific example i can think of is her asking him "how long would it take for someone to love someone". ![]() my friend has been with her nigel for about 6 months now, and she gets really upset and stressed about saying "i love you". Unironically asking for a friend, she's not a farmer. Like someone above said, it's on HIM to prove to you that he's the person he's been portraying himself as. Just remember that looking "manly and cold" is nothing, you have nothing to prove. If he's not true to his word, at least you rip the band aid sooner rather than later. Be on the lookout and remember that even if you do not currently find yourself to be beautiful, NEVER accept that behaviour or sentiment from a man. I don't know how else to explain it, but when you feel so disconnected and conscious about yourself, it becomes easy to figure out when someone is genuine in their praise&understanding. ![]() If your boyfriend is honest, you'll be able to tell. Or maybe we're both a bit unstable kek but I spent an hour or so crying because I was so worried about everything and not meeting expectations and how I'd look and so on. I think your feelings, while a bit intense, are totally understandable. I met my LDR partner for the first time, in his country, and the entire day up to it I felt so anxious that I almost threw up, and I'm usually not the type of person to get overcome with nerves. >296219 Some other nonnies gave you great advice re: not letting your guard down 100% until you're sure he's not trying to take advantage of your vulnerability, and while keeping that in mind I just wanted to say I was in your exact position very recently. ![]()
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